It's Friday. Sex?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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