yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
