Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize