He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
