I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Are these your boobs on my camera?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
