Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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