You can't special order awesome
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
