If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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