I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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