i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
