Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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