Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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