if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Everything about him screamed your future.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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