he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Randomize
