So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
