Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
