I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
