The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
