i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
