Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
