Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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