I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
