Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
