Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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