just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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