Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
