i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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