grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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