It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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