Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
