I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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