i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
