If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
