We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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