is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
The best revenge is premature balding
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
