haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
