am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
