i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
