I must be too annoying 4 u.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
