so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
