How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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