He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
