i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
