she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
