i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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