god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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