My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
