no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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