I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
