He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
