im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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