God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
