i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
cat food counts as protein by the way
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
