Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
home. puking in laundry basket.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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