I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize