Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
