your room smells of hookers.
And success
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
