I bet he comes in French.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
