he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
this hospital has no fireball
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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