I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
