I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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