found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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