My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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