she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
